She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
