im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
