dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize
