Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
