How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
