Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize