Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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