This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
