smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
