so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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