the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
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