Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
