3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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