You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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