Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I am available for nakedness
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
