I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
