Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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