I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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