I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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