we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
