3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
