But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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