I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm like, not good at living.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize