I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Plan B is the new Plan A
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize