he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
