ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
