before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
When are your genitals available?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
