just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
