I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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