I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
