I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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