I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
