Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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