I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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