I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
