i wish starbucks made bloody marys
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
