I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
