remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
