He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
