this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
