try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
