I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
