I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
