I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
