She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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