erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
