HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Still dying that you shit outside
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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