All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i think im in europe. pls send help
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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