Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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