Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
