you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
