I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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