babies were throwing up all over the place
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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