you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
