Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
