My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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