So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It's just like the Real World with babies
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize