I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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