I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
