Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
