just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You have to summon your inner elephant
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
