So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
my god I love twenty year old dicks
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
