I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
