I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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