Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
love makes seman taste better
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
