there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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