Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
