I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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