We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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