I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
