this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
