He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
