hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
