i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
