He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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